Dear Amma,

                        I know we had our differences when I was younger. I remember how our opinions wouldn’t match on something and I know in your head you were regretting giving birth to me. Haha. I know, I was your creation of disaster, though be thankful, I did not harass you when I was a little kid. I was so quiet. I wonder how. But things have changed now. We share the same thought. I remember when I was 5, I envied you, for having such pretty set of dresses, wondered, when I’ll be a little older, I’ll ask for them and here Iam after 15 years fitting into some of your dresses which hasn’t lost any shine. But you know here’s a thing, they just suited you.

                         I don’t know what made us so close. It was quick. A thing, I never realised was happening. I was sharing everything with you, and you were listening to every bit I said, without judging me. Everything you used to tell earlier, made sense to me now.  How could you predict everything before it would happen? How did you know everything already? Maybe you hold a secret telepathy with God. I know you wanted me to make you proud, just like the others did then and just like I do now. Maybe the problem with then was I wasn’t sure of what I was doing. I’m sorry for keeping you waiting this long. I know you don’t ask for anything, but I promise, I’ll give everything back to you just how you want it to be. It’s weird, how you are both- my strength and my weakness. There was a time when there was negativity around me and you taught the notion of karma. On the fact of the bad getting their punishment for the wrong they do. It’s been 20 years with you. The thought of going away from you, tells me, how weak Iam without you. We made a mother-daughter DDLJ train sequence of our own- crying till one of our train leaves. Haha. Waking up early in the morning, making tiffins, so that I don’t starve the entire day. I always denied of taking tiffins, coz I knew you are a great cook, everybody would fall in love with your food, which they do now, and then ultimately I would have to share it with them. Sharing is caring is a myth when it comes to your food. You are the woman with magical hands. Thank you for tolerating my bhook swings, I know, I behave like a pregnant woman sometimes, but then it’s all worth it. Thank you for not discriminating me with a boy, since I was your only child, you believed me, and that’s alot for me. I’m thankful, I don’t have to go through what some girls go through. I know soon, after few years, another woman would be in my life, another Amma. Unfortunately, I will have to share my love for the both of you and I know you will be jealous, you should be. Chill I ain’t gonna forget you, maybe. Haha. But on a serious point, that’s what you’ve taught me, to love, and to spread love.

                         Many people call us alike- like I’m the younger version of you, I resemble you, I look like you, I’m your duplicate. It’s me who strongly objects on that. I’m not like you. I can never be like you. I might just look like you, but I’m not you. You have an inner glow, which I don’t. You have an inner goodness, I don’t. You’re sorted, you know what you do, and I’m all messed up. You have your strength, for me, you are my strength. There are things you want me to understand, but I don’t, maybe I will understand when I will become a mother, that will be the other mess I would create. Haha. I love you Amma. You are a beauty. My sexiest lady. My moti. 


                                     One and only daughter

Mrs. Shobha Rao,

  “Thank you for serving me food all this time.” Happy Mother’s Day.❤


                                              Chakkare kutty.