Love?

                          She was in love. Yes, love, the most over hyped word anybody could use in this entire universe, a word which has lost all it’s meaning today. She loved him. She just wanted him.Her happiness depended on him. Being in love with him for her was giving away her self esteem completely. Dependent, vulnerable, emotional, these are the things you could tag her with. It was all okay for her, for she was in love. And he? He loved her, maybe. Though she’s not that type of girl now. She now thinks of her self esteem before investing anything in anyone. She is over him. She had to. Though, there was something disturbing her.                                                                   Something, she wanted him to know. Something, she wanted to tell him, but feared of losing him. She wanted him to know what she went through, what he made her go through. She didn’t say anything though. She was scared of he leaving her. This wasn’t wrong for her. Everything related to him was right for her. He was her first love. She could’ve possibly done anything he wanted. Anything. She didn’t ask for much. How could she ask for something, when she was told not to keep any expectations. All she wanted was her importance in his life. His life was way different from hers. He had his family, his friends, his lifestyle. And none matched to hers.  She was a major part of his life, ‘coz she was the only one who understood him completely. Even then, she was not acknowledged for even being a part of his life. Her friends hated him, for the zombie he created in her. His friends? Didn’t even know there was a girl existing in his life. His world was in a secured bubble. She, obviously was out of that bubble. She tried her best to go on the other side of the bubble. She did everything. Changed herself on how he wanted, behaved the way he wanted. She forgot her own family, friends, even her own self to please him. And gained nothing. Nothing. She didn’t know if he loved  her. She still doesn’t. He never showed, never said. She would barely get a chance to feel his touch. They didn’t meet that often. He, having his explanations on being busy. She, being equally busy, tried to figure out time for him. Her text messages, phone calls, ignored. He was quite a busy man it seems. Four years passed by, she trying to prove, that she’s the only girl who could handle him, only girl who could stick to him and love him unconditionally. Four years was a long time though, long enough for turning a human into a zombie, to a heartless bitch she is now. A day, when she finally decided  to be firm, not wanting him anymore in her life, leaving him, and moving ahead, was the day when he felt that she was the one, he wanted her, for the rest of his life, he realised he loved her. Realised it too soon, I guess. She was firm though, she didn’t wanted him anymore. She was tired. How much more could she do. Everybody has a limit. The coins were turned. He cried for her, begged her to stay, for a change. He knew, this wasn’t an on-off breakup which he often did for the past four years, this was a serious one, the never looking back one. He wanted to change her mind, one last time, asked for one last chance ‘coz he knew, once she goes, she’ll never come back. But this was how destiny was playing with them. She had asked for love,many times, never got, instead, loved selflessly, without realising, she was destroying herself.                                                                                 Two years passed . Now, he’s not a part of her life anymore. Infact he’s not a part of anyone’s life anymore. Yet, she being so firm and independent, still hopes for one miracle to take place. She wants to feel that love again. On the other hand, she had to be strong, not letting her emotions come out, focusing on what was good for her. Underneath this strong, firm, fierce, independent girl is the old version of her- innocent, sweet, caring and selflessly loving, who’s forcefully supposed to be trapped inside. Not letting the world know, on how weak she can be.                                                                                                           Heartbreaks which made her a zombie then, made her even more strong now. She knew, she deserved something better, somebody who can make the effort, somebody who might fight for her, somebody who might be afraid of losing her. She didn’t ask for anything then, still doesn’t. Though, she didn’t stop expecting, typical human nature. Love changes everyone. Changed her too. She believed, she only fell once. Love doesn’t go away though, it finds it’s way back through some other form. Maybe that’s what she’s expecting. To feel that love again, to feel that pain again.                                                      To the boys, to be honest, I know, girls get demanding, but the only basic thing every girl would want is their importance in your life. If you can make her feel special when you’re in your “mood”, you obviously owe her some importance. And when you start to show your complacent, that’s when you start to lose her and before you know, she’s gone.